Life is like a rollercoaster. One day we find ourselves climbing up hill only to free fall in an instant. If this year has taught me anything, it’s that a single second can change everything.
Christmas Day 2019, I had a terrible fall in my driveway. After trying to show my son how to use his new hover board, I stepped off the wrong way, sending the board forward and myself backward. It hurt, and the next day my entire left side was bruised from my hip to my knee.
As weeks and months went by, the bruises faded but I felt worse and worse. Having slipped discs in my back before, this led me to the chiropractor for an adjustment. Unlike my trampoline injury of 2017 and several smaller pains afterward, the chiropractic visits didn’t help. Neither did physical therapy or even three nerve blocks.
Fast forward to October, and I find myself checking in the hospital for double back surgery. First, the doctors would go through my stomach and replace the broken disc lodged onto my sciatic nerve. Two days after that, they would go through my back and fuse my lower vertebrae to prevent future disc slips.
I’d never had a surgery and elected to stay in labor with my first child for two days to avoid a c-section. So needless to say, I was nervous.
Throughout this whole ordeal, I’d prayed and believed it wouldn’t come to surgery, but it did. I would’ve preferred an instant healing, but God chose to use surgery. Although it wasn’t fun, to say the least, I know He used this experience to grow my faith.
From the doctors saying they’d pray for me to noticing a beautiful picture in the doctor’s office on my last visit before surgery, God gave me pieces of peace all along the way.
My surgeries summed up an entire year of thankfulness for Jesus’s sacrifice so that we can be made whole and of growing my faith in healing and wholeness. As I laid in the hospital after my first surgery, my mouth felt like I’d gargled cotton. I wasn’t allowed to drink anything because my stomach was still “asleep” from the procedure. The nurse brought me a cup of water with a sponge to wet my mouth.
I immediately thought of Jesus on the cross.
Jesus hung helpless on the cross with His side pierced. They gave Him a sponge dripping with sour liquid to try and numb his pain (Matt. 27:33-35). What I endured in no way compared to the pain our Savior endured. But as I cringed at the pain in my side and sucked at the sponge to desperately relieve my thirst, I felt closer to the cross than ever. Closer to God’s love. Closer to Christ.
I’m happy to say that for the first time this year, the only pain I feel is that from surgery. As I continue to heal, I’m filled with love and humbleness for all Christ endured for us. I’ve never been so thankful for my health and for His total sacrifice.
And if it took surgery to give me that perspective, I’m glad it happened.