Yesterday was the last day of my son’s first year of “big school” {insert crying Emoji here}. I’m not a sentimental or emotional person, but I do feel sad that it went by so quickly. People told me all year “once they start Kindergarten, it flies by.” And . . . they were right!

He has learned so much and excelled in so many things. He learned to baseball (and attempted to learn basketball). He learned to read and write more than simply his name. And he made a ton of new friends.

To top it all off, he received a prestigious award at his Kindergarten graduation. Only one boy and one girl received trophies for displaying good character in Respect, Wisdom, Courage and Kindess. He was the boy! Considering there were six Kindergarten classes full of kids made it an even bigger honor.

Lane's award

We couldn’t have asked for a better first year or for better teachers and school staff. (Shout out to Walker Elementary! Go Rams!)

To top it all off, he received a prestigious award at his Kindergarten graduation. Only one boy and one girl received trophies for displaying good character in Respect, Wisdom, Courage and Kindess. He was the boy! Considering there were six Kindergarten classes full of kids made it an even bigger honor.

We are beyond proud of him.

People have always told us how good Lane is, and, to be honest, it’s all God. We wouldn’t even know how to begin to make Lane the way he is. He’s just a good kid, and I’m humbled each day that God chose me to be his mother.

I never took for granted how good Lane is, but I also never appreciated it so much until number two came along. My husband and I were perfectly content with just Lane but later decided to try for a second child so that Lane could grow up with a sibling as we both did.

It didn’t take long for me to find out I was pregnant with my second child. This one, a girl. And, she is definitely all girl.

Raising Blakely has been much more of a challenge. She doesn’t always respond to discipline and she is stubborn as the day is long. (And by long, I mean the length of a day with a three year old.) She isn’t naturally sweet and doesn’t consider the feelings of others.

Yesterday made it particularly hard for me to show her affection.

After taking Lane to Chick-fil-A to celebrate his award, I went to pick her up from preschool. She had just been to the director’s office for “pitching a fit” (as we say in the South) during nap time and kicking her teacher.

The last thing I wanted to do after having such a sweet morning with one child was have to spank another one in the school supply room. But, that’s what happened.

To top it all off, when we got home I planted some new flowers in the pots on my front porch. I told her the whole time I worked to “not pick Mommy’s flowers.”

In the time it took for me to walk to the garage and set down the shovel, she had disobeyed. I returned to see her holding a yellow tiger lily up to her nose. The only bloom on the most prominent plant in my main flowerpot was now amputated from it’s stem.

I lost it.*

*If any of my neighbors are reading this, know that the screaming coming from my hill was not someone dying.

I yelled at the top of my lungs. “Nooooooooo! I said, ‘DO NOT PICK MOMMY’S FLOWERS!'”

She immediately started crying. And, while, I still felt like making her go to her room until her dad got home to deal with her, I felt compassion.

All I could think about when I saw her fearful face tearing up with the yellow bloom still held up to her nose was the Garden of Eden. Not because Walmart tiger lilies look anything like the bounty in that perfect land, but because I could imagine Eve feeling fearful with tears welling up as she held that forbidden fruit she had picked after God repeatedly told her “No.”

Like a curious toddler, Eve’s instincts overpowered her desire to obey and she gave in to her temptation. Likewise, Blakely knew it was wrong to pick my flower, but she just couldn’t resist. Why I can tell Lane to not do something and it works, yet she doesn’t care is beyond my comprehension.

All I know is that I love them both, unconditionally. Some days I don’t like them. But I still love them with all my heart.

That’s what is so great about parenting. I believe it’s the closest we can ever come to halfway realizing how much God loves us. We may mess up some or a lot. We may mess up by accident or on purpose. But He still loves us.

Now, God may discipline us from time to time. And we deserve it. I would’ve been in the wrong to not discipline my child yesterday. Still, I didn’t withhold my love for her any more than I did from her brother.

Some people have to learn lessons the hard way and don’t get the message the first time (or the first 100 times) around. That may be my Blakely. Regardless, I can rest assured that God gave her to me for a reason. It’s not always easy being her mother, but it sure makes me rely more on Him for help.

2 Replies

  1. Loved your stories about your children.it is off how different two children in the same family can be totally opposite.

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