Things I've Learned Since Turning 40

 1-  Don't get offended.

People say stupid stuff without all the information all the time. Or maybe their life is crappy at the moment so they lash out at others to make themselves feel better. Or maybe we are taking what they say the wrong way. In a world of social media posts and texts without emotion, we often jump to conclusions due to our own insecurities.

2-  Destress as much as possible.

We don’t have to do everything for everything all the time. There’s no point in volunteering for everything in every area of your life. I used to think “I could really help make that better,” but even if that’s true, it may not worth the stress I’m causing myself. Often if we don’t do something, someone else will rise up and get a chance. Someone who isn’t doing 18 other things already.

3-  Life is full of seasons.

It may not feel like it with Alabama weather, but there are many seasons in life. I recently stepped down from teaching Sunday school after seven years. I’ve felt ready for over a year, but after much prayer a new season of change presented the right timing.

It’s hard when close friends move away, or we start a new job or activity that takes us away from the familiar. But Ecclesiastes and The Byrds both had it right in saying there is a season for everything. Look for the good in every season. God can teach you something in any situation.

4-  It’s not That important.

I had a harsh realization at bedtime after spending all night helping my kids with homework and practicing their sports—our daily routine. We hadn’t all read the Bible together in a long time. I started doing this again with them before bed. I was guilty of putting things that weren’t as important a priority. In the end, the Bible and building Godly character is all that matters. If they go on to be A-student athletes but don’t put God first, what have I done for them as a parent?

5-  Appreciate your spouse.

I hope my husband knows I appreciate him, but I try to tell him more often. Instead of just assuming he knows I’m thankful, I try to remember to say “thank you” when he does something to help. He’s always checking our vehicles and helping our daughter with math, or cooking on nights I have both the kids at practice. Not everyone has a spouse to help, so appreciate this if you do! I once heard someone at a Christian women’s conference say to quit complaining about your husband. There’s a single woman somewhere who would love to have him.

6-  Stick to your own convictions.

I was talking to a friend about our convictions concerning certain movies, etc. for our kids. Everyone has different feelings about things such as Halloween, movie ratings, and kids staying the night with friends. Plus, everyone’s kids react differently to various situations. In gray areas like this, don’t judge others. But at the same time, don’t allow others’ convictions to make you feel guilty or lame. If God convicts you of something, that is your standard—not what He has dealt with your friends about.

7-  Eat bread.

Or cake, or ice cream, or whatever. I admit that I want to get in better shape. I need to exercise more, but I don’t plan on giving up bread. It’s my favorite, and life is happier with it. When I was younger, I worried about what I ate all the time and if I gained a pound from the day before. By all means, be healthy and don’t glutton yourself. But treat yourself with some daily bread.

8-  Do the work you love.

Writing books is my favorite. I love it so much that I never plan on quitting. To me, retiring means that I don’t have to write as much or often, not that I don’t write at all.

Find something you enjoy doing and can make a living doing. Even if it starts as a hobby, continue until it becomes your job. I still do graphic design for now, but I’m cutting back more and more as my author career grows. Life is too short to stay in a career you don’t enjoy or work at a job you dread doing each day.

9-  Respect your elders.

Growing up in the South, I’ve always been taught to respect my elders and answer with “ma’am” and “sir.” Now that I’m on the receiving end of “ma’am” and “sir” my elders are getting pretty old. They’ve lived through a lot and can share wisdom. Really listen to what they have to say, and you can learn a lot.

Most importantly:

10- You never know how much time you have left on this earth. Live every day as if it's your last chance to make a difference for God.